Competition

Competition

Twice a month, I meet a pastor friend of mine for coffee. Neither of us need another cup of coffee and a sweet roll mid-morning. It's just a good excuse to catch up on life. You see, John and I are good friends. We first met a number of years ago at a weekly pastor's prayer meeting. When that dissolved, we decided to keep up our friendship.

What do two pastors talk about over coffee? Surprising enough we share what's going on in each other’s life. Our kids are grown and we have pastored for a long time, so we talk about the challenges we face growing older as well as staying focused on pastoring and preaching. We've had several joint Easter services as well as sharing the Sunday morning pulpit.

I am making a point here that there is no competition between us. There is no bragging about how large our congregations are (both churches are small) or what a whopping sermon we gave last Sunday. We are two ordinary guys from different backgrounds who have a heart for the church in our community.

When I was pastoring in denominational church life, there was a strong sense of competition. Money and numbers gave you bragging rights at ministerial gatherings. There was no encouragement or opportunity to share your insecurities. It was all business and no time for relationships. You had to keep up the image if you were going to stay in the game.

I want to go on record saying that I appreciate my friendship with Pastor John. He encourages me as well as challenges me. I walk away from our time together knowing that we are laboring together. More than once we have had to remind each other these words of Jesus: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me; watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of life. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Exasperate

Exasperate

 Now there's a word I hardly ever hear used in common discourse. It means to excite to anger or rage. While thinking about a blog for Father’s Day, exasperate came to mind. Funny how the mind works. This is not a word you will find on a Father’s Day Hallmark card. Unfortunately, the greeting card companies as well as the rest of our culture has demeaned fatherhood to the level of a bumbling male who brings home the bread.

I was blessed to grow up with a dad. He was a good provider but often absent from our home because he was a doctor. In later years, we became good friends and I learned much from his wisdom. Growing up in a family of eight siblings, I experienced the importance of a father in the home.

Having been a father myself for almost forty-three years, I have learned some of the difficult skills necessary to raising children. I also learned a few pieces of wisdom along the way: 1) my kids were instrumental in helping me grow up; 2) there is no such thing as perfect kids; 3) my kids are schizophrenic – half me and half Judy; 4) kids remember very little of my parenting errors.

Interesting enough the Bible has a lot to say about being a father. There are ample examples of good and bad dads as well as sage advice about parenting. I end this blog with a quote from the New Testament book of Ephesians: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, do not exasperate them to the point of resentment with demands that are trivial or unreasonable or humiliating or abusive; nor by showing favoritism or indifference to any of them, but bring them up tenderly with loving kindness in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Amen!

Gratitude

Gratitude

Someone once wrote that gratitude is the queen of all virtues. Funny how one word can conjure up all kinds of emotions. I have often said that an attitude of gratitude changes a person’s perspective on life. If not careful, the daily grind of living can easily distort my thinking from thankfulness to woe is me. Let me give you an example.

Waking up one morning this week, I was feeling pretty down. Nothing much was happening to challenge me; nothing exciting to get the juices flowing. My Bible reading was dull, the local and national news were bad enough to force me to hit the off button on the TV. Even the dog was acting a little strange. I thought oh this was going to be one of those days.

Sitting on my desk was a newsletter from a missionary friend in Africa. It arrived in the mail earlier in the week and I set it aside to read when I had nothing else to do. Picking it up I thought what harm would reading this do. Can things be that worse on the mission field?

At the top of the page printed in bold letters it said: GARBAGE KIDS. This missionary told the story of his encounter of hundreds of orphaned children who survive in a large city dump in the interior of Africa. They range in age from infants to teenagers. Abandoned and ostracized from society they eat garbage, sleep and often die it a disease infested plot of human waste.

The missionary went on to tell how he and a group of native Christians began to reach out to these undesirables. With very limited resources and overwhelming needs, these children were for the first time in their lives feeling the love and concern of fellow human beings.

Just reading the newsletter was enough to challenge me to a reality check! Why was I feeling sorry for myself? The missionary newsletter ended with this passage from the Book of Psalms: “He lifts the needy from the garbage dump.” I need to be lifted from the garbage dump of my own selfishness and lack of gratitude.

Compromise

Compromise

I have been married almost forty-two years. I don't think there is much about our marriage relationship that is not saturated with compromise. Right from the beginning there were issues that needed addressing. I am told that when the oldest child of one family marries the oldest child of another family that relationship, if it is to survive, needs a large dose of compromise.

The word compromise is a compound word from Latin: com means “with” and promise means “a declaration to do something.” Compromise is the ability to combine qualities of two different points of view. For any relationship to endure it must master the art of compromise. My way or the highway is the road to disaster.

I write this blog sitting on the patio of our town home. For fourteen years Judy and I have practiced the art of compromise as we built the patio. Judy wanted all grass; I wanted a raised deck. Judy wanted a large garden with perennials; I wanted a design with less weeding. Judy wanted a wood pergola; I wanted a retractable awning. Well you get the idea.

After much disagreement, we saw that unless we could reach some compromises, there never would be a patio. It took several years of indecision before we were able to move forward. Judy got her beautiful garden and I got the raised deck. Judy got some beautiful patio furniture and I got the retractable awning. With all the “I wants” behind us, we now have a wonderful patio.

The art of compromise has blessed my life. Here is what the Bible says about one of those blessings: “Live happily with the woman you love through the fleeting days of life, for the wife God gives you is your best reward down here for all your earthly toil.” Amen!