Mad At God Part 1

Mad At God: Part 1

It was a sunny winter morning. The previous night two feet of snow fell in the Bridger Mountains above Bozeman, Montana. I was plowing the parking lot at the lodge. No small task for an eight foot plow on the front of a 1975 Chevy Suburban. All was going well until I got high centered in a snow drift. That's when something snapped; not on the Suburban but in me.

You see there was trouble brewing in my heart. I was unaware that I was running over my emotional red line and ready to crash. It had been several years since I left the Catholic priesthood.  On the surface I was a happily married man running a ski lodge.  Inside I had reached the boiling point of anger and resentment toward God.

I wasn't going anywhere. The truck would't budge. The plow was embedded in a deep drift. Instead of taking a deep breath and reaching for a shovel, I started swearing and pounding the steering wheel. Obviously that wasn't  going to get me unstuck. I jumped out to survey the situation. Yep, I was was stuck.

I started yelling at God.  Giving him a piece of my mind. As my volume increased so did my four letter words. Working up a full head of steam, I alternated between cursing God, banging my fists on the truck hood and kicking the tires. All of which did nothing to free the truck from the snow. Nearing exhaustion, I leaned against the truck and began to cry.

Emotionally exhausted and struggling to catch my breath, I heard this voice calling to me, "Dan, Dan". Thinking it was the Lord warning me that a lightening bolt was on the way, I looked for a place to hide. Again, "Dan, Dan". The voice didn't sound like God, it sounded like Judy. I looked toward the direction of the lodge and heard Judy say, "Dan, when you are finished with your temper tantrum, come on it. Your lunch is ready!"

To be continued....