Whore of Babylon

Whore of Babylon

Don’t fret! This blog is not about the Apocalypse or a treatise on the End Times. As much as I would like to write on these topics I have another purpose in mind. I have used this phrase only twice and both times to describe machines that I grew to have a love-hate relationship. Not born with mechanical skills, I struggle through life mechanically impaired.

The first was found in the bowels of a church building where I once served as pastor. Looking back, I didn’t read the fine print of the pastor’s job description. The church leadership informed me that, as pastor, I was to oversee the boiler. The previous pastor had acquired an engineer’s license so that he could operate the heating system. After encountering this behemoth, listening to its hissing and feeling it’s steamy exhaust, I decided license or no license, I was not going to touch this whore of Babylon. I came to pastor a people not a boiler.

The second was resting in a dilapidated shed in the Bridger Mountains of Montana. Judy and I ran a ski lodge at the base of Bridger Bowl ski area. In the shed was a rusting D 4 Caterpillar. It was my job to plow the parking lot and driveway. Having never operated a tractor, I had to learn how. First you start the gas pony motor which really whines in the cold. Once the pony motor warms up you engage the diesel motor. This is when clouds of black smoke fly out of the exhaust stack and all kinds of strange noises sing a tune that pierces the ear drums. This machine was truly a whole of Babylon.

At this stage of life, I endeavor to stay away from large machines. I focus my time on more mundane things like technology. My learning curve with the Internet has been steep. I have invested time, money and energy into my I Phone, I Pad, desktop Mac, and Kindle; thinking about getting an Apple Watch. These gadgets are not easy to master, especially for an old man, but they don’t hiss, spit, or blow black smoke in my face.

I am becoming an I Dan!