Sheila

Sheila

Recently my good friend and mentor died. She had been ill for some time. Talking with her long distance on the phone became an increasing emotional ordeal. For the last dozen years she lived in Florida with her friend Kit. My son Tim and I went to visit her last October knowing that this would be the last time we would see her. Watching a friend lose their physical health in old age, even from a distance, is a painful reminder of our human fragility.

Knowing that Sheila is finally home with the Lord is certainly some consolation. But the reality that all my mentors are gone invites an aloneness that I do not welcome. It was so easy to call and ask for counsel with the assurance that wisdom would speak forth. Those voices are now silenced by death. I am faced with having to seek the Lord on my own accord.

I do not write an obituary for my friend, although she surely deserves one. Rather, I am reflecting on all that the Lord gave to me as Sheila shared her relationship with God. One thing I have learned is that God puts people in our life to enrich us. That enrichment comes by allowing others to speak the truth in love. Our response of willingness to listen and apply the truth brings forth abundant blessing.

I find it unfortunate that in our age of social media face-to-face interaction seems to be on the decrease. What has happened to the old fashioned “in your face” discourse? I tell you Shelia was a pro at telling it like it is to your face. She would go where angels fear to trod. That is what I most liked about her. Lots of people have trouble with that kind of personality and I understand. With Sheila you always knew where she stood even if you didn’t agree.

The Lord never ceases to amaze me. He is so creative with his messengers. The Bible records the many ways God spoke to people. My friend Sheila was a wise woman. I am most thankful for the years we walked together.

Requiesce In Pace, Mi Amice

Grandpa Tom

Grandpa Tom

By the time you read this, Tom will have gone home to be with the Lord after a long battle with health issues. Tom wasn’t really our grandpa, the real ones lived a long ways away. To our kids growing up he was as much a grandpa as the blood ones. In honor of Tom, my friend, I write this memory.

Tom was a man’s man. He loved to hunt geese and gophers, drink red beer, and take a chew once in awhile. He was a retail man who once worked for J.C. Penny’s and later was a partner in Cavalier’s Men and Boys store in Havre, Montana. He was the best darn salesman I ever knew and he loved people. He didn’t just want to sell you something; he wanted to get to know you.

Most of all Tom loved Jesus. Whenever he had a chance, he would share what the Lord had done for him. He wasn’t shy about it nor was he pushy. He wasn’t perfect but he was real. Like the rest of us guys, Tom had some flaws that kept him humble. He was one acquainted with sorrow as he buried two sons and one grandchild. In the midst of tragedy, he never lost his faith.

It was Tom who kept me in check. One time when I was really discouraged and ready to call it quits as a pastor, husband and father, I went over to his house. He was in the basement reloading shells. I stood in the doorway and let it all hang out. He looked at me, kept reloading and told me to sit down, have a beer and let’s talk about it. It was his willingness to listen and not judge that brought me around.

Over the years, I have been privileged to have a number of men friends. I am very thankful for the contributions each has deposited in my life. Without them I would not be where I am today. Tom stood at the head of the line. Not because he was so spiritual or so wise but because he was so human. Tom, you showed me how to walk as a man in the midst of tragedy and joy. You taught me how to shoot gophers and be a salesman. You encouraged me not to be afraid of life but to enjoy it.

Thank you my friend. Rest in Peace.