Captain Steve

Captain Steve

I keep a sharp eye out for men and women who exhibit a quality leadership style. I realize that leadership has taken a lot of criticism in our culture. It appears that anyone who takes the reins and leads find themselves in the crosshairs of intense criticism and doubtful integrity. Whatever happened to appreciating and acknowledging healthy leaders? I tell you what: they are hard to find.

Several weeks ago, Judy and I took a vacation to Costa Rica. It was a long journey. We changed planes in Minneapolis and Atlanta. Our flight from Atlanta to Liberia, Costa Rica was delayed six hours. Two of those hours were spent in the waiting area at the gate. The other four hours were sitting on the plane waiting for the catering service to arrive and the green light to go from flight control.

I confess it was an aggravation. We had waited four months for this trip and now it seemed we were never going to get there. I had a choice to make: either get really upset with the airline working myself into a frenzy or sit back and trust we would get there sooner or later. It took a while but I chose the latter.

This is where Captain Steve comes in. He was not scheduled for this flight but because it was a new aircraft, he was called last minute to fly us to Costa Rica. He took charge, accepting responsibility for the delay and promised to keep us up to date on what was happening. He invited the children (and me) to visit the cockpit. He instructed the crew to hand out all the goodies we wanted. He even took a medical service dog on board out onto the tarmac several times to do his stuff.

Finally, we were cleared for takeoff. Captain Steve said: “All aboard! We are going to fly this plane to Costa Rica like we stole it.” And that’s exactly what he did. Even though the delay was tiresome, Captain Steve of Delta #355 made a difficult situation almost enjoyable.

A big Thank You to Captain Steve and the crew. You led and us and you flew us with humor, kindness and servant hearts. You are a credit to the industry you serve.

Doggie Dodo Detail

Doggie Dodo Detail

Believe it or not, I have a story about doggie dodo. It may not rank high on stimulating and edifying blog topics. However, I have observed in life that the simple and mundane are often the most poignant teachers. I must have a gift in this area because nobody else I know is talking about it.

Growing up in a household of seven siblings, my parents and grandmother, there were many opportunities to experience the simple and mundane. We were a typical Catholic family that attended Mass on Sunday and said our prayers before meals and at bedtime. Each of us was assigned chores to help spread the workload and maintain some level of orderliness.

Besides keeping my room clean, taking turns setting the table, doing dishes and taking out the garbage, my brother and I were charged with cleaning up after our dogs. Of all the chores I disliked the most, it was the doggie dodo detail. I could never understand why my sisters were exempt from this job. They wanted the dogs and played with them just as much as we did. When I complained to my father about this gender inequity, he reminded me that this was man’s work!

I soon learned this was a thankless job. Nobody complimented me on what a good job I did. In the summer, it was hot and stinky. In the winter I pulled a toboggan with a garbage can on it, scrapping up frozen doggie dodo. I finally found out where where all that dog food went.

After a year of this, I approached my father and asked him why we couldn’t hire somebody to do this thankless job. His answer is forever etched in my mind. He said, “The doggie dodo detail is character building and your character needs building! On top of that this is good experience for later in life when you have to deal with other people’s dodo.”

All these years later, I am still on the doggie dodo detail. Nobody else volunteers, so I am still scooping it up. I trust that this job has developed my character and taught me something about dealing with other people’s dodo. Thanks Dad for the wise counsel and experience.

The Other "F" Word

The Other “F” Word

No, I am not talking about a swear word. There are other words in the dictionary that start with the letter “F” besides the one you may be thinking. However, I do want to say a few words about that other “F” word: FUN!

Growing up in a large family, there were eight of us, we had a lot of fun. I have good memories of the times we spent playing and fighting with each other. We had a swimming pool in our back yard, making hot, summer days fun. Being the oldest was not always fun but I survived.

Looking back, I don’t remember ever being encouraged to make life fun. I do remember being told that life was hard, serious work that required discipline to survive. The nuns and priests taught us that our goal in life was to make God happy; that required sacrifice on our part. My seminary education reinforced the idea that fun was not part of a priest’s vocabulary.

You can only imagine what happened when I married Judy whose daily vocabulary is FUN. She made life fun by enjoying each day and finding fun things to do. For most of our married life I was caught up with trying to please God that resulted in making other people miserable. I finally came to the conclusion that I didn’t know how to have fun. I was a dull boy.

Well, my life has changed. About ten years ago, we met some friends who really liked to have fun. They did ordinary things in extraordinary ways. They enjoyed travel, fine wine and friends. I think they took me on as a project. Judy had no trouble getting into the swing of things but I did. I couldn’t seem to shake off the guilt every time I was having fun.

Although the word FUN isn’t in the Bible, the word HAPPY is. I kept running into this word and wondered if it could be true that God wanted me to be a happy camper. Slowly I began to realize that God does want me to be happy and have fun. Even at this advanced age, I am learning how to enjoy life because God does want me to have FUN.

The Bible says, “…trust in the Lord and you will be happy…”

The Privilege To Fail

The Privilege To Fail

Recently I read a book entitled Fail by J.R. Briggs. Since I have a wealth of experience in failure, I decided to give it a read. To my surprise, the book was my life history. He shared not only his failures in the ministry but also recorded the stories of other men and women who experienced failure and disappointment.

He shared these facts:

1-   1,500 pastors leave the ministry every month because of burnout

2-   50 percent of pastors marriages end in divorce

3-   80 percent of pastors experience on the job discouragement

4-   70 percent of pastors say they don’t have a close friend

By the time I finished the book, I realized two important things: 1) that failure and discouragement go hand in hand with the pastoral ministry (as well as life in general), and 2) failure is a great teacher. I especially like this quote from the author, “Failure is a beautiful gift wrapped in an ugly package.”

As I look back on my years of pastoral ministry, I can easily relive the heartbreak and pain of my failures. For a long time, I let that pain drag me into the sinkhole of guilt and shame. That inner voice was a constant reminder that I was not measuring up. It was only by wise counsel and encouragement from people who earned the right to speak into my life, that I began to understand the privilege of failure.

My pastoral successes pale in comparison to the spiritual and emotional growth I experience by my failures. By God’s grace, those scars are reminders that life comes at the cost of knowing my limitations. Learning to walk with God requires availability not ability.

Jesus says: “I’ve told you all of this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.”