Ivory Soap

Ivory Soap

Watching my favorite holiday movie, A Christmas Story, with friends, I was reminded of what life was like as a boy fervently wanting a BB gun for Christmas. I know what it is like to want something so bad you can taste it and wondering why nobody else shares the same passion as you.

I got two six shooters with a holster and cowboy hat one Christmas. They were cap guns that when you pulled the trigger the gun popped and made smoke that smelled like real gun powder. My brother and I would play cowboys endlessly until our mother couldn’t stand the noise any longer.

My favorite scene in that movie was when a swear word flew out of Ralphie’s mouth in his mother’ presence. Her response was to stick a bar of soap in his mouth as punishment with a warning never to speak that word again. There was Ralphie wide eyed with a huge bar of soap in his mouth unable to utter a word.

My mother was a lot like Ralphie’s mom. There was a time, I don’t remember the circumstances, that a swear word flew out of my mouth in her presence. She grabbed me by the neck, took me in the bathroom, and shoved a big bar of Ivory soap in my mouth. There I was sitting on a stool, eyes wide just like Ralphie’s, choking on the bar. Let me tell you Ivory soap did not taste good. After a forever time, mom reappeared and warned me that the same would happen if she ever heard that word come from my mouth again. To this day I carry a grudge against Ivory soap and refuse to buy it.

Some of life’s lessons leave a bad taste in your mouth. I can’t honestly say that was the last time I swore but I did learn a lesson about watching what comes out of my mouth. The Bible says, “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”