The Blessing of Betrayal

The Blessing of Betrayal:

Some years ago I was on the pastoral staff of a large, charismatic church. At the invitation of the founding pastor and the direction of the Lord, we moved from small town Montana to a large city. With high expectations of being a part of a church that was on the cutting edge of renewal, I jumped right in to my work.

It wasn’t long before I began to realize that the original invitation had some limitations. Although he was in the process of releasing his pastoral role, he still wanted to maintain control of the church. We were good friends but the tension increased to the point where outside help was needed to resolve our differences.

Sparing the details, our relationship as well as the direction of the church started to spiral out of control. Even with outside help, we both said and did things that further aggravated the situation. It got to the point where one of us had to go. Trusting the Lord and the wisdom of others, I resigned and left the church. My life was in a tailspin both emotionally and spiritually. In short, I was a basket case. My friend had betrayed me!

Betrayal is a tricky thing. The closer the relationship, the more the betrayal hurts. I felt like I got blindsided by someone whom I trusted. Thoughts like stabbed in the back and double-crossed brooded in my mind. I was wounded and couldn’t let it go. Like I said, I was a mess!

In the middle of all of this, a friend sent me an article entitled “The Blessing of Betrayal.” The author shared his own struggle with betrayal. He wrote how the betrayal of Jesus by Judas was a test of forgiveness for both Jesus and Judas. Jesus passed the test; Judas did not. Here’s where the blessing comes in: the opportunity to forgive and release the person who broke trust and gravely hurt you. Only with the help of the Holy Spirit can this happen. Betrayal without forgiveness is a cancer to the soul.

I read and reread that article over a period of several years. Finally the release came and I was able to write a letter to my friend asking forgiveness for all I said during that turbulent time. Our relationship was never the same but the hurt was gone. What a blessing that is.