Confrontation

Confrontation

A scary word for lots of people. Even the thought of having to confront an individual or a difficult situation can send a person into an emotional upheaval. In my experience, people tend to shy away from anything that looks or feels like having to address a sticky issue.

Something must have happened in my past to equip me to be a confronter. It could be that I am the oldest of eight children. It could be the seminary training that forced me to work through situations rather that flee from them. Maybe it’s that I’ve been gifted with that unique quality of  “don’t tread on me.”

The root meaning of the word is “come head to head.” Not the kind that promotes butting heads. Rather the process of bringing to the table real issues that cause misunderstanding, hurt and division. A meeting of the minds with the goal of restoring relationships.

As I look back, it scares me to remember how poorly I dealt with relationships. I have confronted archbishops, bishops, pastors and assorted other authority figures. Often to my own detriment. Although gut wrenching and some with severe consequences, I have learned important tools. The most important one being the ability to speak the truth in love.

Recently, I was tested in addressing a long-standing friendship. My prayer was “Lord don’t let me screw this one up. Give me the words to speak that bring peace and life into our relationship.” Somewhat skeptical, I stepped into troubled waters only to discover that the Lord had already prepared the heart of the other person.

Here is a sobering word from the Lord: “Work at getting along with each other and God. Otherwise you’ll never got so much as a glimpse of God. Make sure no one gets left out of God’s generosity.”