Friends

Friends

When raising our children, our mantra was “if you want to have a friend, you have to be a friend.” The goal was to teach that friendship is a two way street. You can’t always have your way. There is need to learn the give and take of relationships. Easier said than done.

Upon reflection, I would say that one, if not the most difficult, discipline to learn as a pastor is that of friendship. Over the years, Judy and I have had the privilege of meeting and making many friends. Being pastor gives opportunity to meet and grow with a variety of people from different backgrounds. We have been enriched by these relationships.

I confess that not all friendships endured the test of time. Life experiences involving relationships have taught us some hard earned and heart breaking lessons. The vulnerability that comes with sharing one’s life in close proximity to others opens up opportunity for growth as well as wounds.

Looking back, there are friendships that indeed made us become sensitive, compassionate and vulnerable. There are others that ended in disappointment and heartbreak. Relationships can be a messy proposition. It takes a strong heart to embrace them all. At this point in life, I am willing to admit my frailty in pursuing friendship.

I remember the old Sunday School hymn: “What a friend we have in Jesus…can we find a friend so faithful…Jesus knows our weakness….” The Book of Proverbs has this to say about friends: “There are friends who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.”